Happy birthday little love. You would be 3 years old and just as frustrating as Jake was at that age, I bet! I constantly am imagining how you would look. I know you’d be so handsome and I bet you’d be so silly…..how would your voice sound? Would you have a stutter like your brother? I wonder what party you’d want to have and what kind of cake you’d be asking me to make.

We’re doing our best to celebrate you. I made cake pops and Daddy helped. I even made you a cupcake to bring to the cemetery when we sing happy birthday. I didn’t want to sit around crying this year, so I thought we could all get together and do something fun. This year we are all going bowling, something to keep it light for everyone. Something to take the heaviness out of you not being here with us, even if it’s just for a few hours.

i envision our lives with you still in it as a fairy tale. I think if you never died that our lives would be amazing. I was so happy with what we had. I was satisfied and content. I was happy with who I was as a person and a mother, now I’m empty and a failure. Maybe I’m romanticizing that time because it’s all I have left of you.

Your birthday brought you into our lives and with that I’ll be eternally grateful. You always were my sunshine when my skies were gray….now the remaining lyrics of that song sting whenever I hear them and I turn it off because it’s too hard to listen to.

i love you Daniel. Happy birthday baby.